“Mama, you give me massage?”
That’s what I hear every time we lay down for a nap and every time we lay down for bed. I’ve been massaging my children since they were infants in an effort to bond with them, and better understand their development and needs. Now, my three-and-a-half-year-old asks for a hang massage before he drifts off to dreamland. I start with his little fingers; first his pinky, then working my way down to his thumb. At the base of each finger where it meets the palm, I gently squeeze the base and move the pads of my pointer finger and thumb in circular motions slowly up to the tip of his finger. Once I’ve reached the top, I move on to the next one. We do this over and over again, stopping only when he’s fallen asleep. The lullabies playing on my phone were only six minutes into the two hours of length that it plays when I noticed he was completely asleep for the night.
My eight-year-old still asks for back massages as he falls asleep and likes to talk about “the old days” when it was just the three of us; him, myself, and his daddy. It’s bittersweet, knowing that I’ll never truly experience that one-on-one time with a child of mine again because any future children will have siblings, but he and I still have those times to reflect on and to fill us with joy. We bonded through babywearing and massage when he was an infant because I was determined not to only show him he was loved, but to honor his needs and development and show him that he mattered. How he felt, what he was thinking, what he wanted… it all mattered. By partaking in infant massage with my children, I was easily able to read their cues, predict their needs, and be in tune with their bodies; more so than if I hadn’t made it a point to spend that time together doing something so personal and intimate. Even when we weren’t in the middle of a massage, I could get a sense of what they needed. It was magical having that connection with them and being ahead of the game in terms of feeding times, bum changes, and fussy fits.
Infant massage opens an entire new world for parents and caregivers. In the courses that I offer, not only do we learn massage techniques, but we learn about all the different behavioral states and their sub subjects that touch on a baby’s developmental needs at a given moment. Based on their behavior and body language, we can easily assess what it is that the baby needs, for instance, awake states (Yes, “states” plural, because there’s more than one!) It’s not just awake and asleep. In a quiet alert state (sub subject of the awake state), your baby is awake, eager, and ready to learn and take it all in, while in an active alert state (sub subject number two!), your baby is fussy and ready for a change of scenery. They’re likely to be overwhelmed in this state, and show it by whimpering, quickening their breathing, and having trouble focusing. If this state is not responded to by soothing, changing scenery, offering a choice of a varying activity (toy, milk, parent holding Baby and standing up, moving to a new room, etc.), it will lead to crying (sub subject number three). However, if Baby’s need is met before they reach the crying state, it’s possible for them to revert back to their quiet alert state.
All of that is just learning your baby’s cues, their likes and dislikes, and taking the time to really focus on them. Massage rooms are very calming spaces, with gentle lighting, cozy and warm aesthetic, soft music or bird sounds playing in the background. There’s plenty for Baby to observe while also having the opportunity to connect with you. I provide fragrance-free massage for parents to use during classes and to take home. I don’t recommend using oil with fragrance for massage because we want Baby to smell you instead of a lavender or citrus scent! This is to further the bond you two are making because Baby is continuing to smell your scent near their body. For mothers, this is reminiscent of when they were in the womb and they innately know they’re safe and with their mother. For fathers, the baby smelling their scent will hold fast to the idea of an additional caregiver and will continue to help grow the bond between the two of them.
For adopted infants or those in foster care or respite care, infant massage is just as beneficial. The act of massaging their body is a very tender and loving way to show them they’re cared for, and despite the adult not being a biological caregiver the baby still bonds with the adult and becomes soothed and relaxed.
Some infant massage techniques have also been proven to help with colic/gas relief by moving the blockage through the body to ease discomfort. Through carefully crafted routines, you can give your baby relief in no time. Techniques focusing on bringing the whole body together help your baby’s body to understand that it’s all connected and can communicate. We use learn techniques to relax muscles in the face and back and leave no muscle untouched. We start with the thighs, moving down the legs, then onto the stomach and chest, continuing on to the arms and hands, and then finally to the face and back, all the while using an integration technique to activate all the muscles to encourage them to work together.
There are so many more benefits of infant massage for adults and our babies, including oxytocin release (referred to as the "feel-good" or "love hormone") in both the adult and the baby effectively and significantly alleviating potential of PPA and PPD in parents, while encouraging joint mobility and muscle development in the baby. I could spend all day talking about infant massage as it’s brought my family so much joy, and now I’m excited to share that joy with you and your babies!
Until next time,
Flora
Comments